Monday, 13 May 2013

#SpecialK30 How I've Changed (Am Happy Now Honest)

As Special K is 30 this year, I was invited to join in the Britmums/SpecialK  "How I've Changed Linky Challenge".


Back in the day I didn't actually eat cereal, or in fact drink tea, as I have a bit of an aversion to milk.   These days I drink black tea, and enjoy cereal as a healthier alternative to crisps.   I would also add that I was sent a packet to try, but had to buy another packet as the kids devoured it before I could!  I really liked it, and if the kids like it too then its a win win :)

And now to me hmmmmmm.   30 years ago I was 16, quite an important age in the grand scheme of things,not so sweet 16 I'd say, more one with many issues that took many years to get through.  I went in search of a picture of me at 16, and found this one.   It's a blistering hot day in August, and my friend Louise and I were off to Chessington for the day.   What is evident immediately is that I'm wearing a very large, unattractive jumper!   Those who know me now will see a resemblance to today, only today the jumper has been replaced by an over-sized fleece.

I guess a rewind is in order.

I was a very active girl, from a young age, I swam most mornings at 6am, had dancing classes a couple of times a week, then a show on a Saturday daytime, followed by a gala somewhere in the country.  I became Southern Counties Butterfly Champion and by the age of 12 I had all my dance exams, just my teachers to go, which you had to be 16 for.

Unfortunately, like a lot of children, puberty brought on more of an interest in boys, booze and fags, so at 15 I dropped out of everything.  I continued eating as I did whilst in training and a hard, cruel lesson was learnt. I couldn't eat the way I did without the exercise regime I was used to.  I just didn't understand the whole food in versus energy out thing and I got very down about it.  I stupidly got myself into a pattern of eating disorders, and my twenties were consumed with said battles.  I was lucky enough to be chosen to dance in a lot of films at the time, and whilst I am happily smiling with Keiffer Sutherland, I know the pain and anguish I was putting myself and my body though. I hated myself.

When I turned 30 there was a huge change, an ex husband down, I met Chris and I honestly just changed.  It was evident that Chris didn't actually care about my size, and I stopped the bulimia almost overnight?  Maturity, being settled, being happy?  Who knows, but I do know that having stopped all that, I lost weight naturally and was back in a size 12 (this had become my holy grail). Many years of stability followed, but it's fair to say that I will always be conscious of what I eat - the one thing have suffered eating disorders has given me is a vast knowledge of food types, and I constantly check nutrition details for calories, sugars and fats - ok Carbs too and protein, ok the lot, well that's not such a bad thing is it?

Anyhoo, FAST FORWARD - am now 46 (has it really be 30 years) married with 2 children, I had my first at 37 and my second at near 41............

2 sections at my age took their toll.   I tried to lose that blasted apron through exercise, but frankly the body had given up.  SO, I did what any other rational(?) person upset with themselves would do - that's right, book a tummy tuck (I blogged it here).
Today, I feel FANTASTIC, I'll admit I am still wearing the baggy jumpers and tops, I'm back to the holy grail in trousers, but I still have to sort myself out shopping-wise - I could do with a bit of Aunty Gok to be honest, cos I've no idea what to wear, but in the meantime, on the inside I am very, very happy :)

If you managed to get to the end of this post without falling asleep, then well done you and thanks for listening.

Here's to another 30 years!

Cheers
Annie x

4 comments:

  1. I enjoyed reading this and learning how things have improved for you over time. Happy on the inside is what matters. Commenting for BritMums and thanking you for taking part

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Cheers Kate

      I decided to go with honesty, thanks for reading and commenting xxx

      Delete
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