I first heard this being done on Absolute Radio, and found it awesome, its taken some time but here goes. Apologies for crap pics but most are at my mothers!
For the record I turned 16 on the 18th January 1983!
Dear Anne – yes are still Anne at the moment but soon
Captain McVaign will re-christen you Annie, in a few years time when working
for Cunard – there’s a joke there but I won’t labour it!
You did great in school, despite all the teacher’s
expectations (mainly based on the fact that you smoke)! 9 O’Levels, and you got your City &
Guilds in Engineering. I’m afraid the
latter won’t work out directly for you, but it will stand you in good stead for
the future. Unless you start practicing
lifting bus tyres for future interviews, but I shouldn’t bother! Do as your mum says and go back to school for
a year!
Oh and by the way, you always wanted to beat Gary’s tally of
6 O’Levels, well in about 20 years time he’ll confess that he only ever got 3 –
once a git, but you know that – and actually hold that thought, he currently
owns a pub J
You are very close to Gary Yearwood at the moment, through
Cardinal Newmans’s and in fact he helped you a lot at Acton Tech too! I suggest you give him a hug at every given
opportunity. He really needs it, though
he won’t tell anyone, and I hate to say he won’t be around for long.........
Also, and I hate to shatter your illusions, but Gary
O’Donnell is not the one. I think you
should have taken the hint when he called you fat with greasy hair, but you’re
a thick skinned trier I’ll give you that!
And ignore Michelle, you will get many of those types in the coming
years and you already know how to deal with them!
Drinking in the Vic most weekends probably not the best idea
– but you know what, you’re having a ball so actually, go for it – it won’t
hurt anyone, just maybe steer clear of the bunny park afterwards, you know what
I mean ;)
If I told you you’d end up married with 2 kids you’d
probably die laughing, well it’s true and you don’t do half a bad job of
it. The first marriage won’t work out,
but hey what doesn’t kill ya makes you stronger – and you will look “thin” in
your wedding dress in Vegas!
On that point, where to start, stop starving yourself and
get your mum to hide the scales, you need to address this as soon as! Coffins come in all shapes and sizes,
seriously!!!! No-one else cares too much
what you look like! (I may have to come
back to you on this point, privately)!
Oh, and possibly my best advice (?) keep your ear to the
ground regarding a new social networking site called Twitter! Through that you’re gonna make some of the
bestest friends for life, embrace it and enjoy!
Regarding football, it’s gonna get a whole lot worse but it
will get a whole lot better – I’d say stick with it but then you have no
choice!
Take it easy out there, forgive your father and remember
negativity and anger rots you from the inside, it aint worth it!
All my love (God I’m actually crying)
Annie xxx
p.s. When you go
skiing, don’t wear any clothing that says No Fear, when you fall of the chair
lift and cry like a girl, you’re going to look like a muppet!
